2015 preview part 2- Bad at being the worst
When I said the opening preview would be big, I meant big, because were gonna be previewing all 128 teams in the fbs from the bottom to the top. Today #120-111 (Based on ESPN FPI)
120. Charlotte 49ers
I don't know much about the Charlotte 49ers, and neither does anybody else. This is their first year at the fbs level, so nobody really knows how they will fare. But judging off a 6-6 record against all fcs or lower teams last year, I don't think it will be good at all. They do have some nice kits though, and they would probably look even better if they incorporated some gold so they didn't look just like Marshall's.
119. Buffalo Bulls
Buffalo struggled last year after losing the beast that is Khalil Mack to the draft in the spring. They went 5-6 which makes no sense because in division 1 college football you play at least 12 games. The espn fpi has them really low for a team that was 1 game that wasn't played away from being bowl eligible. They don't even have to get the shit scissorkicked out of them by Baylor like they did last year. Which helps them have one more game and spares them from the embarrassment of being on Baylor's nonconference schedule, which is a place where bad teams go to die. Anyway, I expect them to outperform expectations, which won't be too difficult.
118. Uconn Huskies
Do you remember like 4 years ago when uconn was in the fiesta bowl. Because they were, and ever since the ass raping that took place in that game from Oklahoma they just haven't been the same. They were 2-10 last year in a pretty bad american conference, and aren't supposed to much better this year. Uconn football is like the big east conference if the big east was a team, they have just tanked so hard over the last 4 or 5 years and now they have all but disappeared. Plus the husky on the front of the helmet looks fucking stupid and terrible.
117. Miami Ohio Redhawks
All I can imagine about miami ohio football is them wishing they were the other miami. The same goes for the town of miami that is in Ohio. I just see everything there just having a massive inferiority complex. And they sucked really bad last year. Like they sucked massively at 2 and 10. They were like the video game character kirby, except they sucked at being miami, football, and penis. I know nothing about them other than they are a bottom 10 regular and there really is nowhere to go but up. They just have to convince recruits that they are miami, but never allow them to visit so they don't know that they're the bad miami.
116. Wyoming Cowboys
So I'm not gonna lie, I love everything about the university of Wyoming and their football team. I love that they're a college in the middle of nowhere. I love the brown and yellow jerseys and color scheme. I love that they have a whole territory to themselves called the middle of nowhere. I like the tiny stadium. I like that they got the coach from NDSU. I like that they fit in my mountain west fetish. I like my Wyoming hoodie I got on sale. And that endzone
I think that badass endzone made me just jizz a little. WYOMING 12-0 GOING TO THE PLAYOFF. If you don't believe that, then youre wrong, and you should change your mind, cause its happening.
115. Akron Zips
What the fuck is a zip. like I looked it up thinking wouldn't it be funny if it was like a zipper and wouldn't you know thats exactly where it came from. I stopped reading there because I got what I wanted but still, I find that funny. So about the football team, they were a respectable 5-7 last year and in a pretty weak mac they will probably end up in that area again. But what the fuck do I know I just pulled that out of my ass because research takes effort and I don't feel like it.
114. UTEP Miners
I like UTEP. That doesn't mean that there isn't also a lot wrong with utep. There a basketball school who haven't been good at basketball since segregation, and their coach also makes the team play football like there is still segregation. Their qb is just a fucking Katrina level disaster and they run the ball more than that one douchey friend in Madden who manages the Fucking Clock. You know that guy. Fuck that guy. They also have kinda a shitty team name. Your name should not set up a joke about the players not being able to have sex because their still in high school. They did go to a bowl last year and the minors had things done to them that shouldn't be done to minors. But they still have cool uniforms, a cool history, a cool college town and THEIR STADIUM IS ON THE MOON
Look at that, you can't look me in the eyes and say thats not on the moon and not look like a complete dumbass.
113. SMU Mustangs
For all of the shit I just talked about UTEP, SMU is so much worse. They were arguably the worst team in all of the fbs last year. Like, if you watched SMU football last year, you would think that it was their first year back from the death penalty. They were absolutely shit on in all facets of the season. A video of a bomb blowing up would be all you need to describe smu last season. SMU is a program dirtier than the people on naked and afraid with cheating more rampant than ashley madison, and they still managed to wet the bed and have and absolutely horrible season. They can't get any worse than they were last year unless they somehow manage to lose every game and lose them badly. I hope that it doesn't happen because the unfortunate fans of the team shouldn't have to see it die twice.
112. New Mexico State Aggies
This one picture right here should show u how NM state feels about football, and that is they don't give a fuck. They have been horrible for as long as I can remember and they still don't care. Look how sloppy those jerseys are, nothing else in the set goes with the pink, they just kinda put pink in their normal combination and its awful. They have been bad for as long as I can remember and I don't know how they are better than 15 teams all the sudden. This team can't improve, the school doesn't care enough for them to improve. Their in like a neverending loop of bad.
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