Monday, August 17, 2015

2015 Preseason Preview Part 1

2015 preview part 1 - The not so great 8

When I said the opening preview would be big, I meant big, because were gonna be previewing all 128 teams in the fbs from the bottom to the top. Today #128-121 (Based on ESPN FPI)

128. UNLV Rebels

So growing up a fan of TCU since I was born, I had to watch tons of mountain west football, so I know that UNLV has sucked for forever now. They only won 2 games last year and 1 was to an fcs team. They really haven't been good for as long as I can remember, but they are getting a new coach. It's the guy who coached Snoop Dogg's kid before he went to UCLA and quit. But UNLV still sucks, like the only reason people in Vegas go to games is to see if the rebels lose by 30 more than the line so they can go get their cash at the casino. I think he had a good high school program, so maybe he can turn UNLV around, but it probably won't happen this year.

127. Eastern Michigan Eagles

This video basically speaks for me.

126. UTSA Roadrunners

I live in San Antonio and I like UTSA, but they also suck complete ass. They came into the top level of college football after like 1 year of existence. Their like a kindergartner doing his first year then being put in 10th grade. It doesn't help that the team doctor probably can't even watch the players because the coach could have a heart attack at any minute. I swear he would die and nobody would be surprised. You no what else sucks, nobody EVER goes to the games. You see more illegal immigrants at a trump rally than you do UTSA fans at the games. But you still end up rooting for them because you kinda want them to win when they really have no business doing it. Oh and they lost their first senior class which I'm pretty sure was half the team, so their pretty much boned this year

125. Idaho Vandals

I honestly know jack shit about idaho football. I know they couldn't go to a bowl ineligible from the beginning of last year due to some scandal but nobody gave enough of a shit to report on it. I also know they sucked last year because their record says they did. I'm guessing that their like boise state's unwanted little brother that is just kinda worse at everything that involves football. They don't even have cool turf. Even their name sucks.

124. Army Black Knights

Fuck the computer rankings, army should be higher. What system puts them this low? A system thats not fucking American thats what. Look how badass those uniforms are. Those uniforms are to football jerseys what stone cold is to wwe, way more badass and American than anything else in their category. When army beats navy I'm gonna laugh my ass off at the power rankings. Do you smell an army national championship, cause I don't but I really want to. 124 my ass. Fuck the system.

123. Troy Trojans

Once again, I know nothing about troy. I think it's in Alabama, They were 3-9 last year but 3-5 in the sun belt, which still sucks. But I do know one thing, that J on their jersey is totally wrong. It's like the left shark of uniform lettering, except it isn't even funny. I don't know why it makes me so mad but it looks so wrong, like its taunting me.

122. South Alabama Jaguars

So I do know a bit about the jags, and I have no idea why their this low on the fpi. They made a bowl last year, which I watch and distinctly remember for 3 reasons.
1. Because they had just gotten a new offensive coordinator and threw the ball deep almost every fucking play.
and 2. Because I promised myself I would ask some girl out that my friend was telling me to if they won, and they ended up losing in pretty exciting fashion, which I took as a way of god telling me to back off
and 3. Because one of the coaches got nailed in the nose and kept coaching 
Such an amazing moment. That guy deserves a raise.
So my prediction is that they will do much better than the ratings expect and will continue to be my jesus communicator

121. Georgia State Panthers

Georgia State is one of those teams you would know a lot about if your only exposure to college football was the bottom 10. Their one of those teams who just stay in the bottom 10 from the beginning of the season to the end, and I expect for them to do that again. I mean Georgia Southern has been in the fbs for 1 year and they already seem like the much better program. The only nice thing I have to say is I like the Jersey Colors.

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